12 Week Challenge

12  Week Challenge.

In January 2009, the gym I went to held a challenge for its members to sign up to lose weight and get into better shape.  I signed up thinking it would be a perfect opportunity for me to lose the weight I had gained from eating dessert every night with Frankie.  Plus, Frankie would be getting home just before the challenge had ended, so I would be looking good for his R&R, and the prize money would pay for our amazing vacation I had planned.  

Well, then March 27th happened, and with just a few weeks before the final weigh in, I  was planning my husbands funeral instead and the challenge fell by the wayside.  I stood a really good chance of winning, and had worked really hard to completely transform my body, but now....all that did not matter AT ALL.  Even though I would have probably won from the additional 15 pounds I lost after Frankie was killed, I honestly could care less about it.

Now, two years later, I am signing up again at the end of this week.  I usually do things like this without too many people knowing, but I have been lacking motivation lately, and have never really needed help in this area, until now.  I love(d) working out, but it just has not seemed important to me lately.  So, I am putting it out there into the blog universe that I am going to get my butt into gear and I am actually really excited to get back to the gym, and feel those endorphins lifting my mood.
Trust me, I need it.

I am looking forward to feeling better, and looking better, and I can't wait to capture that top prize!

And I will NOT be posting before pictures --- :)  No way, no how.   I will keep you updated on my progress though!
 

Tough

Warning!!! This post has some disturbing photos! :) 

So, I made it through into the new year. Past my second year of holidays.  It is hard to say it is 2011.  It is tough knowing that Frankie missed all of 2010 and most of 2009.  It is even more difficult going to family holiday functions alone and having them afraid to mention Frankie, and looking through family albums and seeing my beautiful sisters all having the lives I somewhat imagined.  I am over-joyed for them, but it is tough.  All of it.  I know Frankie's love has gotten me this far.  But, I have realized that  one of the many reasons he chose me, is because he knows how strong I am.  How even though life and things may be tough....I AM TOUGHER!!  He knows how strong my commitment is to him and I know how much he cannot wait to see me again. 

 He knows that even though this course on the the rest of my race in life is going to sometimes be like trudging through thick mud with giant blisters on my heels.........I will not quit!!

  I am tougher than that.

 

We did the Marine Corps Swamp Romp in Hawaii, which is a grueling 5.2 mile course, that includes going over and under barriers, a portion of running on the beach, an ocean swim and low crawls.  These blisters formed well within the first mile.  Frankie wanted me to stop so he could check them out, when I complained about my heels hurting, but I did not want him to see it because I knew it was bad, and he wouldn't have let me continue.  I had to finish the race.  And I did --- With a huge smile on my face. 

   The pain of missing him will not stop me.  I will not look back to see how difficult the path has been.  I will continue to look forward.  I will finish the race, embrace the pain, the joy, our love, and I hope to be smiling the whole way, because I know what my reward will be: 

Happy New Year everyone!  Let's make it a good one!  We can do it!  

Let's make our loves proud!