More than just a dog.

 Frankie and I always talked about our future dogs.  We would have two.  He wanted to get me one if he got deployed, but because his deployment was not the typical one, and one that came up so quickly, the timing was wrong.  Plus, I wanted him to take part in the puppy-hood stage.  We had the names picked out and everything.  

Our puppy plan is sounding similar to our having children plan!  :)  Well, obviously we never got that chance, so I am working on the one that I can.  I am so excited to have a puppy.  He is my baby that I always wanted by age 30 and the new little guy in my life for the next 10 - 15 years.

 I am so excited his name will be Kailua.  Frankie and I picked that name out to always remember our first long-term duty station in Hawaii.  One of our favorite places in the world.  The place that will always remind me of our first and second year of marriage.  The place where we would takes walks or runs almost everyday down to the beach.  I loved holding his hand, talking and laughing about everything, but mostly our about our future together, and how we could not believe how blessed we had been so far and could not wait for so much more to come.  

Having a puppy is a big step for me because to me it represents so many things.  First -- I am ready to take care of not only myself, but another living creature.  Next, I am actually imagining being here on this earth for another 10 - 15 years of my dog's lifespan.  Right after Frankie was killed, I thought God would be nice and find a way to take me right along with him somehow.... I imagined a vicious great white shark attack, a car accident, dying from a freak gasoline fight (Zoolander reference) :)   or maybe even the end of the world.  But, it has been a year and 4 months and none of those things have happened yet ---- and I can honestly say I am happy they didn't happen.  Although, death doesn't scare me, I know there is still so much for me to do in this life, and Frankie will be there throughout it and at the end no matter what - whether it is 5 years or 75 years more.  And lastly, I am still going to work on mine and Frankie's hopes and dreams... with our puppy by my side.  

The Toner's Pup

From time to time, people tell me,
"lighten up, it's just a dog,"
or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog."
They don't understand the distance traveled,
the time spent, or the costs involved for
"just a dog."
Some of my proudest moments have come about with
"just a dog."
Many hours have passed and my only company was
"just a dog,"
but I did not once feel slighted.
Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by
"just a dog,"
and in those days of darkness,
the gentle touch of "just a dog"
gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.
If you, too, think it's "just a dog,"
then you will probably understand phases
like "just a friend," "just a sunrise," or
"just a promise."
"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence
of friendship, trust, and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and
patience that make me a better person.
Because of "just a dog" I will rise early,
take long walks and look longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog"
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams
of the future, the fond memories of the past,
and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and
diverts my thoughts away from myself and the
worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that
it's not "just a dog"
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps
me from being "just a man."
So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog."
just smile, because they "just don't understand."
by: Sandra Dee Adopted Shepherd Mix, Born May 2004. 


MandyMy said...

Ahhhh I love all the positive in this post!! Your puppy is super cute!! Dan and I had a pup together, Jax. He is still my little man. But 2 years after Dan passed away I decided to get the "big dog" we always wanted. I bought Samson, my shepherd. These two little men have pulled me up so many times. They are my little fur babies, and all of facebook gets to see way too much of them. But, like the poem says, they aren't "just dogs", in many ways they have saved me. Have fun with the pup, it's going to be a great adventure!! HUGS!! :)

Megan said...

love you Brooke!!

Beau & Lenette said...

I am so happy for you...He is adorable. I'm glad you've found some happiness, snuggle him for me!

The Hunts said...

I love it, Brooke! I'm glad to see you doing something that makes you happy. And Happy Birthday to you :)

Anonymous said...

"Wake me up before you go go..."
:) Sorry...had to with that vision at the gas station.

He's perfect and will bring so much to your life...he is y'alls son (that's what michael called Charlie and Maximus), and they truly are.

Raise him with all that you and Frankie are...and I promise it will show in his character.

Sharing in the amazing love y'all have with your new child.

Mrs P said...

I have to agree with Mandy, lovin the positive! I like the outlook on death, how you're not scared but you know it's not your time yet. It's funny, as I type this we're crossing the Tappan Zee Bridge and there's a sign that says "Life is worth living" with a hotline number, of course... Anyway, back on track, good luck with your new pups I am sure he will bring great joy to your life and probably a few crazy stories as well!

And you're right, those videos this week have sucked for all the widow's I've talked to as well... BLEH!

Hugs <3