I could not think of any words. I do not know if the pain will subside. Because as time passes for me, the pain seems to increase. Everything is painful --- thinking, writing, smiling, crying, sleeping, driving, dressing, moving, breathing, living. It all hurts. Even describing it hurts. I am not good at sharing my pain; I actually prefer not to, because it is too difficult for me.
What doesn't hurt, is talking about him, sharing our love, our time here. It makes him so real. It brings him here. He IS real. He is my eternal love. Without any doubt. That warms my soul and makes the pain subside.
I love that people always want to know what words will help. I appreciate it. I truly do --- even when most of the time, the things are not always the right thing, or the best thing to say; at least they try. Grieving and mourning are painful, but after a loved one dies --- everyone grieves differently, everyone has different pain. It seems like it will never end --- and I know I am still in the valley. I am mourning; my friend's niece is mourning. It hurts. There is no magical formula on what words to say.
What I do know is that there is comfort in all the pain. From my love; and from my Savior. I feel them both guiding me and helping me, and strengthening me. I find comfort in sharing stories with other widow's, and the love we have and will always have. I find comfort in my sister sitting with me in my room, while I share pictures that no one has seen, or while I read her all the poems and notes Frankie has written me, or her taking on the difficult task of dusting Frankie's flags, pictures, plaques, and awards for me while I travel. I find comfort in love. The love of my soul-mate, the love of my Savior, the love of all those who miss their spouse, fiance, friend, sibling, child....
And I especially find comfort in the knowledge that I know we will see them again. We will.