10.16.2009

A Love Eternal


It has been a year since Frankie left for Afghanistan. I truly cannot believe it has been that long. I really do not have any sense of time lately. Everyday is similar - everyday, I ache. As much as I try to put on a happy face...that is all it is...an exterior smile to mask my interior pain. I can't believe last year at this time Frankie and I were together wiping tears, holding each other, for one last time. Each kiss full of meaning - with purpose - conveying the overwhelming love between us.

But thankfully in between feeling so much pain these days, I am allowed to feel little specs of comfort, and light, and hope, and love -- So much love. Although everyday hurts missing him - I know that love is still here. I feel it -- his love radiates around me. It always has. With Frankie no distance has ever been too great, no physical separation could prevent us from ever feeling it. I am so grateful that I am Frankie's wife! He is my husband. Frankie Toner IV is my forever love - wow! He chose me to be his. I chose him to be mine. We are so blessed.


This is part of a poem I wrote lately - just how I have been feeling ~

He is my one and only---My for all time and eternity
I know we are God-given ---I just wish our time was more
Here on Earth ---On this forever empty shore
Waves crashing, Tears falling Into that never-ending ache
That pool of hurt---that tide of pain
Falling and rising - breaking over me
Until that day when these earthly bonds are broken
and we will rush to hold each other FOREVER more.

Frankie wrote this for me - it is one of my favorites - if not my favorite - I love him so much beyond description, and I feel his love for me! I feel you Frankie! I feel your never-ending love for me!

Brooke,

There is an ocean which no eye can see the end. There are no sides, no beaches, no banks, or beds - Just water that continues forever. Within this sea that has no end there is just two people. Just you and me - swimming and splashing, laughing and kissing. I hold you close as I lift my hand from the water we watch the water drip off my skin and it goes back to the ocean drop by drop. I look into your eyes so blue and true to me and say - "Each drop that must fall to fill this ocean is from my heart and each one is a piece of my love I have for you. As you can see it is never-ending. Never. With each passing unit of time my sea of love deepens for you Brooke. I love you."
Love,
Frankie

2 comments:

Talia said...

Brooke,
I LOVE YOU!!! I am thinking about you everyday!!! Know that even though I have NO CLUE WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH...That I CARE and I am PRAYING FOR YOU!!!

LOVE YOU!
Tay

Anonymous said...

Brooke,

Your love with Frankie's are eternally one for all time. He is around you, he lives within you, every breeze you feel, no matter how light its filled with his love for you. You both are one, undivided by earthly pain. I am honored, and humbled to know of the love you feel for Frankie. I know he felt and feels that he is the luckiest soul ever to be. Use that to strengthen every day and live it as you would with him. I cannot begin to feel any partial pain of the intensity of yours but I try to understand.
Miss you and wish I could be there to add some comfort.
I love you,
Antonia