My 2012 in review via pinterest. It was an interesting year. I learned a lot, and I am ready to take on 2013 with no regrets. Time to make new mistakes and keep on keepin' on! :)
1.07.2013
P.S. Happy New Year
Plus, Just wanted to say, I am glad to be back to blogger. :) It has been waaaayyyy too long!
My 2012 in review via pinterest. It was an interesting year. I learned a lot, and I am ready to take on 2013 with no regrets. Time to make new mistakes and keep on keepin' on! :)
My 2012 in review via pinterest. It was an interesting year. I learned a lot, and I am ready to take on 2013 with no regrets. Time to make new mistakes and keep on keepin' on! :)
The Love of a Father
I recently saw the movie Les Miserables. I had seen the Broadway show twice while living in NY, but this song really got me during the movie in a way I never understood before.
Called "Bring Him Home"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaI9BPKhExk
I had to hold back sobs. I let tears roll down my face....in public! Which is not a usual thing for me to do. It made me think of my dad, and it made think about my relationship with God. It made me think of how much they both love me. How much my dad has been here for me. How much he wishes it was him who had been in Frankie's place. He has said it again and again. It made me think of how he caught me in his arms as I fell to the floor on the worst day of my life. How he sobbed for me that day, when two men had to come tell me my husband was killed and personally see his daughters heart shatter. How he held my arm as I saw Frankie's coffin for the first time, and continued to hold it as we followed the caisson and band that led the way to where Frankie was placed in the ground. How he has taken care of me since then. My dad...He is just such an amazing person and I am so thankful for him.
I have had some serious God issues since Frankie died. And I am finding my way back to Him. He is my Father in Heaven, and I know he cares for me the same way my own Father does. Even though it sometimes feels like he didn't hear my prayers, my Dad's prayers, our friends and family's prayers, I know that he is still there and waiting for me to forgive him. Him and Frankie are watching out for me, and reminding me of who I am and what I need to be doing. I will keep trying. I hope Frankie is there and I hope he is in the best of care. I know he must be. Because, with my Dad, I am. So, I can only imagine what it must be like for him.
I have the love of some pretty incredible men.
Called "Bring Him Home"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaI9BPKhExk
I had to hold back sobs. I let tears roll down my face....in public! Which is not a usual thing for me to do. It made me think of my dad, and it made think about my relationship with God. It made me think of how much they both love me. How much my dad has been here for me. How much he wishes it was him who had been in Frankie's place. He has said it again and again. It made me think of how he caught me in his arms as I fell to the floor on the worst day of my life. How he sobbed for me that day, when two men had to come tell me my husband was killed and personally see his daughters heart shatter. How he held my arm as I saw Frankie's coffin for the first time, and continued to hold it as we followed the caisson and band that led the way to where Frankie was placed in the ground. How he has taken care of me since then. My dad...He is just such an amazing person and I am so thankful for him.
I have had some serious God issues since Frankie died. And I am finding my way back to Him. He is my Father in Heaven, and I know he cares for me the same way my own Father does. Even though it sometimes feels like he didn't hear my prayers, my Dad's prayers, our friends and family's prayers, I know that he is still there and waiting for me to forgive him. Him and Frankie are watching out for me, and reminding me of who I am and what I need to be doing. I will keep trying. I hope Frankie is there and I hope he is in the best of care. I know he must be. Because, with my Dad, I am. So, I can only imagine what it must be like for him.
I have the love of some pretty incredible men.
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| Not only mine and Frankie's smiles, but check out my Dad's! |
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| I know my Dad was so honored to be at Frankie's Silver Star Ceremony |
God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there
He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home.
He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one.
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone.
Bring him peace
Bring him joy
He is young
He is only a boy
You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die
Let me die
1.14.2012
He lives on.
Some days, I get messages from Frankie’s old friends telling me how much he meant to them. They are always special encounters or stories that I often know from Frankie telling me, and they often just confirm what I already know. They mostly just tell me about Frankie’s heart, and his love for them and all those around them and how he lives on in them and will always be a reminder to them to be a better person. Rarely do I cry when I read theses messages, but Chiabella was lucky. She knew a side of Frankie that not everyone got to hear or know of. She knew of his sruggles. She knew that his soul was magic, and special, and unrepeatable. Her message was full of caring and her own personal loss and grief. It was full of heart. I am glad Frankie knew you in his life Chiabella.
Thank you for these lyrics, and I cannot wait to hear the song!
I always thought
that angels were up in heaven
I thought they were sent down to us
But I was wrong
And now I know
You’re walking the earth with me
Amongst the angels
Cuz they are the ones in need
You were saving lives on earth
Now you’re saving souls in heaven
I know you’re more than a memory
Cuz you live on in me
They lowered a flag
To honor you
But I’ll raise it every day
To remember
Cuz we're the ones who need you
You were saving lives on earth
Now you’re saving souls in heaven
I know you’re more than a memory
Cuz you live on in me
I know you’re strolling through oak groves
smelling the ocean in the breeze
With the stars in your eyes
And the stripes on your sleeves
I know you’re more than a memory
You were saving lives on earth
Now you’re saving souls in heaven
I know you’re more than a memory
Because you live on in me
You were saving lives on earth
Now you’re saving souls in heaven
1.03.2012
Death is not the end of love
"I crawl my way back in your head
To hear you speak and dream again
To touch your lips from deep within
A bit like love and heroin
Across the grave invite the bands
Carry well when the world ends
Across you lay, I lose you when you're in my arms
Just like the wind
It's not over, over, over.....It's not over, over, over" - Angels & Airwaves - Crawl Lyrics
To hear you speak and dream again
To touch your lips from deep within
A bit like love and heroin
Across the grave invite the bands
Carry well when the world ends
Across you lay, I lose you when you're in my arms
Just like the wind
It's not over, over, over.....It's not over, over, over" - Angels & Airwaves - Crawl Lyrics
12.19.2011
The Lonely
I hate the holidays.
I'm trying so hard, and I don't understand this. I miss Frankie, I miss our life. I miss feeling like I belong to something absolutely incredible here on earth, and like I have to wait to be complete again until I die.
I am lonely. I know everyone will say, but you are never alone...he is always there. I know that, but sometimes missing him just takes over, and I cannot shake that painful feeling.
I'm trying so hard, and I don't understand this. I miss Frankie, I miss our life. I miss feeling like I belong to something absolutely incredible here on earth, and like I have to wait to be complete again until I die.
I am lonely. I know everyone will say, but you are never alone...he is always there. I know that, but sometimes missing him just takes over, and I cannot shake that painful feeling.
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